Over 102979

Guard Demotivational Poster

SEGWAY ROUGH RIDERS - Where is your Emperor-God now?!


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Rating: 4.74/5

More motifakes by lgvernon

lgvernon - February 28, 2012, 6:45 pm

Airman - February 28, 2012, 4:34 pm
i used this same pic a few months ago.. you did a much better job than I did.. 5L
lgvernon - February 28, 2012, 4:27 pm

GySgt1811a - February 28, 2012, 2:38 pm
Thanks, again.
lgvernon - February 28, 2012, 11:00 am

I thought so, too. Thanks!~
maoworks2 - February 28, 2012, 7:45 am
Very Moving Picture 5L.

ROYAL GUARDS - Sometimes the similarities are just to obvious to ignore

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Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by jam1977

R.S.Jake - April 14, 2010, 2:56 pm
Duh! Din't you see episodes 2 and 3?
Me_ - April 14, 2010, 2:47 pm
So do the Sith like little boys?

DEAR VETERANS - Thanks for your service. YOU ROCK!!!

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Rating: 3.98/5

More motifakes by todd snyder

redpoetnight - June 19, 2014, 3:23 pm
CG here - You're welcome, and thanks for standing by us.
Ed-Hyde - November 12, 2009, 7:35 am
You're welcome
spacedog - November 11, 2009, 8:32 pm
All the best to all our veterans; Canadian, American and our allies. Thank you all.

EVEN THE BEST SECURITY SYSTEM - Only functions when it is activated

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Rating: 4.68/5

More motifakes by Bob85

IMPERIAL GUARD - Because fancy armor and genetic augmentation is for pussies!

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Rating: 3.33/5

More motifakes by Tirak

spacedog - March 13, 2010, 12:02 am
Wow. HoF huh? Amazing.
Elredin - June 12, 2009, 6:44 pm
ok men those chaos guys are slaughtering us lets get out of...oh commisar didnt see you thei...*gunshot*
Gorgutz - May 25, 2009, 9:50 pm
Thracia - July 17, 2008, 12:09 am

NATIONAL GUARD - Because not everyone can be a real soldier.

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Rating: 2.08/5

More motifakes by daniel

bluethin2013 - February 10, 2013, 5:28 pm
I'll be sure to tell my son that the reason I wasn't there to watch his birth was because I was in Iraq, busy "not being a real soldier". Glad to see you know so much about what guard soldiers do and have gone through. Have a nice day.
williewill41 - October 15, 2011, 2:29 pm
If not for the guard we would not be able to fight two wars so you should say sorry to all those families in the guard who have lost a love one in combat, JERK
colt45103 - January 28, 2010, 8:45 pm
Tell that to all of the National Guardsmen sacrificing to serve our country in Iraq and Afghanistan


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Rating: 3.26/5
Zook - August 24, 2010, 7:36 pm
butterface ok in that outfit
MrBlack - February 15, 2010, 9:28 pm
Like you wouldn't have as many of your guards as possible be super hot women.
Woodywood03a - November 24, 2009, 1:35 pm
Thats so corny!!!

REMEMBERANCE - On Memorial Day, something on which we can ALL agree.

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Rating: 3.31/5

More motifakes by zentiger

Untamedfifty - November 4, 2009, 6:09 pm
Hoorah!! Semper Fi

GUARD DOGS - Holy shit.

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Rating: 2.67/5

More motifakes by marifjeren

TheAlternative - March 5, 2009, 5:47 am
Thats a dog?! Nah! thats a feaking Horse!
hgghg4 - March 4, 2009, 5:17 pm
They slobber a lot though... If anyone knows how much a St. Bernard slobbers then multiply that by about 3 or 4 and that's about how much these things slobber.
chelle - March 1, 2009, 7:49 pm
he's the biggest dog in the world an english mastiff if i remember right.
Martin - August 23, 2008, 4:36 pm
Actually a Boarhound is another name for kind of dog not a breed...the closest ones to that mix is a Great Dane and Mastiff is another both mixed would make a HUGE dog but not of this size.
Briton of Rose - August 14, 2008, 11:05 am
Boarhound - Largest member of the mastiff family. Very docile. Exceptionally good with small children.
Jaylin - August 13, 2008, 8:14 pm

GAME OVER INSURGENTS! - SFC. "game face" UTTERBACH is coming, and HELL is coming With HIM!!

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Rating: 2.93/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

414anonymouse - September 25, 2009, 9:41 am
Yes i was being funny, he's part of our geek squad. Yes he was that fat obese when I took the photo but he's trimmed down a lot since then.
Titus Pullo - June 22, 2009, 7:40 pm
Ugh, to think I was once a Senior Scout for the 32nd. (1-128th actually)
unowho - June 9, 2009, 2:17 pm
its the vest he is wearing has front back and side plates plus the mag pouches on the front makes it look like he is fat. adds like 4 inches all around you, the shirt he is wearing actually fits tight to body. wisconsin NG I do believe...
Brian The Great - May 14, 2009, 5:57 am
It's actually an optical illusion - the guy is in full gear with bulky uniform on - look closely - he's not nearly as fat as the first glance makes you think he is. But yeah, pretty funny on first look
Mark - May 13, 2009, 6:39 pm
I think that if SFC Utterbach ever sees this, SGT Yeo is going to be the NCOIC of Tedious Tasks and Duties for the remainder of his tour.
moooooooooooooooooooo - May 13, 2009, 6:04 pm
I laughed as well. But I think the guy posting these is trying to be serious. I could be wrong.
agdaniele - May 12, 2009, 10:08 pm
Maybe it's just the Guinness, but this is a solid laugh.


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Rating: 4.13/5

More motifakes by CpnKangaroo

fascistfrenchman - December 18, 2010, 7:06 am
"Once more into the street, dear friends, once more; Or fill the holes up with our school dread." ~ something like William Shakespeare
RubyRadio - March 10, 2010, 9:50 am
Is this Guy part of the SCA???
GreyScorpion - March 9, 2010, 8:17 pm
"5, It's just a flesh wound's"



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Rating: 4.25/5

More motifakes by MPsniper

MPsniper - May 4, 2011, 6:20 pm
;-) thanks
alldayfighter - May 4, 2011, 2:35 pm
may the 4th be with you
DSATHeDRiZZLe - May 4, 2011, 1:04 pm
very poor taste...love it! lol

marriage advice #11 -

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Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

mizzdizz - May 28, 2015, 4:34 am
Led Zepplin???? That was some seriously strong ganja! Had to be drinking 1800 gold to get the clothes drop goin'! Was it in the back of a Chevy van with a waterbed? Don't forget the fantasy mural on the side! ROTFL!! 5L, mi'lord!


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Rating: 4.33/5

More motifakes by Airman

Iconoclast - January 16, 2012, 9:36 pm
Great picture! My curiosity about icebreakers was the recent news that the Coast Guard has only 1 active icebreaker. Seems strange.

"AIR ASSAULT!!" - Either I'm getting "older" or the recruits are getting "YOUNGER!"

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Rating: 2.58/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

Bartimaeus - September 26, 2009, 12:26 pm
That's a great one, man, and a good strategy...5/5

VOLUNTEER LIFE GUARD - Budget cuts aside, perhaps a younger person would be a better choice.

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Rating: 3.67/5

More motifakes by ughomer

spypengen - March 26, 2012, 9:31 am
those look more like zombies trying to eat thet guy


CHU-CITY - Every "TRAILER-PARK" Has one GUN-NUT Psycho-Skinhead running around it!

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Rating: 1.7/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

The HOOF - September 12, 2009, 6:58 am
He has no bullets in that rifle.
Agent K - August 17, 2009, 5:22 pm
yeah most likely Iraq...possibly Afghanistan or Kyrgyzstan but I'd bet on Iraq.
knowitall - August 17, 2009, 5:16 pm
unless it's in some faggy country like england where guns are illegal.
T. - August 16, 2009, 9:12 pm
Looks like it's in Iraq. Army PX flip flops, uniform looking trailers, the M4 looks fairly standard, tree's look like iraq trees I'd guess a small fob north of bagdad.
KDP3 - August 15, 2009, 11:01 pm
only one gun nut? I disagree

COOLNESS - No! BRO! in order 2B COOL! You have to "POP" Your collar


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Rating: 4.41/5

More motifakes by Airman

THE AIRFORCE - Guarding nuclear launch codes

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Rating: 1.83/5

More motifakes by RnR

Staff Sergeant - February 7, 2009, 5:29 am
and we are constantly out of regs with our facial hair...you are obviously sharp as a bowling ball
airman - September 12, 2008, 7:25 am
because we take nuke codes on civilian aircraft? ur a smart one....

Palace Guard -


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Rating: 4.94/5

More motifakes by agdaniele

ICEMAN - November 1, 2010, 11:02 am
You should see our Navy.

GRAND BARGAIN - Swap for a soda pop

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Rating: 4.79/5

More motifakes by ughomer


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Rating: 4.75/5

More motifakes by JesusWept

NO REST FOR THE WEARY - We sleep safely at night, because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.

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Rating: 4.68/5

More motifakes by RnRollie

BoneCD - July 13, 2010, 3:36 pm
5 guardian poodles. Nicely said RnR!
Faceplant31 - July 13, 2010, 3:33 pm
Very nice. 5L
GySgt1811 - July 13, 2010, 3:24 pm


WORST... - Job... EVER!

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Rating: 3.18/5

More motifakes by koradan

Derek - December 16, 2009, 7:18 pm
You're not using your imagination are you?

AWESOMENESS - MOM! Look how awesome I am, and i don't even shave yet!

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Rating: 2.08/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

LogicDude - August 8, 2009, 4:51 pm
Still, I have to give big props to teh National Guard...my last 2 years before retiring I was training these guys and I have to give it up to those with full-time jobs that STILL volunteer to serve...so a big HOOAH to you guys!
LogicDude - August 8, 2009, 4:50 pm
I think their just doing Combat Drills...of course, you should always "Train as you fight" so they SHOULD have on their Battle Rattle...
GySgt188 - August 8, 2009, 4:41 pm
That M-4 would be a lot more awesome if it had a magazine in it.
Da5id - August 8, 2009, 3:32 pm
Is this even overseas? Or the training areas in the US?

A FACE - Only a "MUJAHID" could love.

Coast Guard -


IT'S TRUE - You Can Stand At Attention For A Long Time !!

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Rating: 4/5

More motifakes by MustyK

CANADA - February 17, 2010, 11:21 am

FRIENDSHHIP - it's not important who's your friend, but how they can help you

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Rating: 2.61/5

More motifakes by calichi

HAPPY-NOW? - I told you to stop flushing those baby-wipes down the toilet. I said the plumbing couldn't take it!!

SFC. COCHRANE - gets ready to goto the gym, to look at weights.


dependence -

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Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Sho

BobbEdwards - September 25, 2013, 10:46 pm
If the verse makes some kind of life statement, probably. The real reason I brought up Philosophy Wall - and its lack of viewers/contributors - was to wonder about the viability of a "Motipoetry" site, nice as it sounds...
thecrotchetyoldcynic - September 25, 2013, 10:13 pm
I can post poetry THERE? Cool. Did not know that.
Sho - September 24, 2013, 10:55 pm
ow nice, just checked it out for the first time
BobbEdwards - September 24, 2013, 10:46 pm
Moti does have Philosophy Wall - but no one seems to go there :-(
thecrotchetyoldcynic - September 23, 2013, 11:59 am
Very poetic, Sho. Really like the free verse. There should be a Motisite for people who like poetry - Motipoet... or something like that.
BobbEdwards - September 22, 2013, 11:10 pm
lgvernon - September 22, 2013, 10:59 pm

And another preconceived notion goes up in smoke. I never imagined my guardian angel with dark circles under her eyes and that hopeless, lost look on her face. I may never be the same, but you get a 5L!~

H E L P!! S A V E M E!! - Forgot the water wings again

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Rating: 4.93/5

More motifakes by ughomer

GaryO - December 1, 2012, 3:38 pm
Yeah, ug is funny alright, I find MissPriss…….odd…but yet lustable. Reminds me of suma Robert Crum’s stuff. 5L natch
Kstoker - December 1, 2012, 10:18 am
Funny stuff Ug.Miss Priss I find you oddly desirable.
motinet - December 1, 2012, 9:20 am

PapaFox - November 30, 2012, 6:56 pm
So is this the modern version of dropping a handkerchief? ;)
MissPriss - November 30, 2012, 5:40 pm
Revenge dear Ug will be sweet, not swift...sweet...muhahaha!

COAST GUARD OFF OF KODIAK - Just a few miles of coastline to protect

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Rating: 3.69/5

More motifakes by Airman

whathehell - August 16, 2011, 2:38 pm
my sister was stationed there, she's in the coast gaurd lol.
AlaskaGuy - July 1, 2010, 9:53 pm
Lower 48 morons won't get this... 6640 miles of Coastline!
Viper - May 7, 2010, 12:13 pm
I went there once...
MO - December 9, 2009, 11:24 am
5 from me!

KNIFE KILL! - The fun loving mascot. Wait until he meets the kids!

NEW YORK TIMES REPORTER - C'mon get a closer picture! What's he gonna do? "KID-NAP US" or something!

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Rating: 2.56/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

agdaniele - September 9, 2009, 11:11 pm
It's not a bunker, Billy; it's your parent's basement. I guess an empty bottle of lotion would be YOUR bunker buster, huh?
Sean - September 9, 2009, 11:06 pm
Yer a bigotted cu*n*t, Billy.
Billy - September 9, 2009, 11:01 pm
Snap that ragheads neck before he blows someone up.
BoneCD - September 9, 2009, 12:44 pm
Those who don't remember history are doomed to repeat it...5 from me Yeo!

PERSONAL COURAGE - STRIKE NOW! Specialist! The "NCOIC", like all Soulless Beasts, must be killed in his sleep!

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Rating: 2.54/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

Ed-Hyde - August 7, 2009, 9:59 am
He's not sleeping. He's performing preventive maintenance on his eyelids. Y'know, checking them for holes.

JOINT FOOT PATROL - Here we see Marines and Airmen doing it Yo! Airman don't bunch up like that! Maintain your fields of fire!

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Rating: 2.41/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

Airman - September 9, 2009, 3:49 pm
tsk tsk
spacedog - September 9, 2009, 11:01 am
Bwahahaha! Nice bait.

CAC-CARD - SCORE! I found mine, WHEW! the D-FAC is closing soon! And it's FAJITA-FRIDAYS!

SMOKE DETECTORS - Check your batteries B4 Your batteries check you!

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Rating: 2.18/5

More motifakes by [email protected]

[email protected] - September 18, 2009, 4:42 am
it's in IRAQ, Cheif. Everything is dry and flamable!
spacedog - September 17, 2009, 9:54 am
Nice pic. Dry leaves, lots of butts and a tossed smoke detector equals voided insurance.

E-TOOL - I'm going 2 grab one, and knock that thing off yer head! B4 it nests and lays eggs in yer ears!


WTF - Black guys never smile for pictures!

GOING NATIVE - Don't do it sir! Stay with us! You dance with the one that brought you! Don't go into the light!

INTEGRITY - To do the right thing! Even when the NCOIC isn't looking.

SHAY-SHAY'S FOOT PATROL - Oh yeah the wars a little-bit different for her. It's good to be the QUEEN.

"Pet Owners" -


stress -

in goes the good air -

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Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Airman

Bobbi Kristina -